


Neornithes

by TwilightVelvet



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 04:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18296858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightVelvet/pseuds/TwilightVelvet
Summary: An AU where Cloudcuckooland is something more fitting to be built by Athenians, as in Aristophanes's "The Birds".





	Neornithes

    “You know, so when I was young, my dad didn’t let me have long hair…”  
    “Yeah?”  
    “And that’s crazy, right?”  
    “Right.”  
    “Like, I should be able to have decent control over my own body! And, of course, it wasn’t curly back then…”  
    “Yeah, yeah, yeah! I like it but pretty please get to it.” There, he switched, a frowning face with shutter shades now greeting the princess.  
    “Fine!” he growled.  
    “Sorry…” After a few quick moments, his face softened.  
    “And then… that’s why I left.” Unikitty gently wrapped her fluffy tail around the officer as he unwound. He gave a rare grin and leaned into the softness of her magical form. “Thank ye, Kitty.”  
    “You’re welcome! Now…” She gave a look of mock impatience towards the officer before he switched, flustered.  
    “Of course, dearie, we got you a good gift. Bad thinks it’s good, anyway. Behold…” He opened the door with a turn and a click, and from the darkness of the open halls came three peacocks. The first arrived with a flute, the second with a lyre, and the third with only his own voice. They hummed together before giving a flutter of their wings. Then, they began to sing and play. Swaying, the singer came in accompanied.  
    “Untold in centuries of lore  
Is one with the beauty as she I adore  
Spoken now to all the realm  
Of magic and birds, with her at the helm  
Storied, now, and gloried—her!  
Giver of justice, and patience, and more  
And more…”  
    Unikitty perked up at the singer holding out a particularly high and clear note. As the singer trailed off, the flutist and harpist played a sweet variation on the singer’s melody before building up to the next verse.  
    “Healer of those once destroyed  
My princess in sweetness and strength is enjoyed  
Lover, in tenderness fine  
How grateful am I of this lady of mine!  
Defending now, unending—her!  
Ruling my heart, our kingdom, and more  
And more…” This time, the instruments faded too, and the song was over. Unikitty clapped her soft paws as loudly as she could before turning to the cops and planting a kiss on their forehead.  
    “I love it… I love you!” The princess gave her loves a big, soft hug before sitting down and looking up at them. “But I think I have a great present for you, too…” Her eyes gleamed before she gently shooed the peacocks and walked over to the other door in the room. It was locked, and she fumbled with the knob with her paws, though it wasn’t strictly necessary. After getting it open, she dragged out a covered easel with her magic and took the tarp off even more easily.  
    Bad Cop’s eyes were filled with a happiness much more intense than his soft smile, but Unikitty knew him more than well enough to get the message. Letting Good Cop switch in for a second, Bad saw how much he appreciated the painting, too.  
    Good leaned against Unikitty with a wide, bright smile. “It’s beautiful, Kitty. Truly, you really are quite something. An’ Bad...” Bad switched in with almost uncharacteristic joy, but it was something to be expected at Valentine's Day.  
    “Why… it’s right breathtaking! You - when’d ye become such a good painter?”  
    “Well…” she said slowly, “I’ve been practicing for a while, maybe a few months…” Bad gestured to the painting.  
    “And all this! Where’d ye get the idea?”  
    Good glanced at it, but Bad Cop continued to stare intently at the painting. The canvas was adorned with a two-faced god, in profile, looking out to both a sunny day and a starry night. The faces were near identical, both of subtle but different expression, with the one facing the Sun smiling, and the one facing the moon frowning. There were various other details, but Bad was entranced with the empty eyes of their statue-like faces.  
    “I don’t know, really!” said Unikitty. “I just knew it’d be something you both would love.”  
    “Thank ye again, dear,” Bad said before opening the door that led out to the darkened hallway. Good switched in, “You always manage to make this the best night of the year.” Good Cop took Unikitty’s paw in his hand and walked her down the halls to look at the paintings.

* * *

  
    “Good morning, class!” chirped Mrs. Black. While her enthusiasm may have been appreciated in other lines of works, it would always be a difficult task to get students to actually like a substitute instead of the lack of work. “Now, students, I’m about to call role, listen up. Arthur?”  
    “Here!”  
    “Brady?”  
    “Present!”  
    “Collin?”  
    “Here…” and on it went. The day was uneventful, with the unusually gentle winter winds serving to make everybody just stop and relax for a while. Even Bad’s unease at making himself unseen in front of practical strangers was made much lighter by the lack of other extenuating circumstances. Work for this period was easy, as expected, and the bell for lunch rang before anybody started to miss it. Comfortable after the last class, Bad and Good indulged in the rare event of having a nice conversation amongst themselves at the lunch table.  
    “That sure was a relief, wasn’t it, Bad?”  
    “You said it. I usually can’t wait for class to be over!” Bad replied.  
    “And a lovely lady teaching, too! It’s sweet to see someone care so much about learning.”  
    “Please. You say that about every teacher. Besides, don’t pretend like I’m not the one doing all of the work around here.”  
    “Oh, believe me, Bad, I really do appreciate all the hard work you put into school. I just ask ye to think of where we would be without my social graces.” Bad didn’t need to switch to feel just how wide Good was smirking now.   
    “Yeah? Without your ‘social graces’ we might just have people staring at us while we eat ‘most every day,” Bad said, while broadly gesturing towards people doing that very thing. Both of them seemed to sigh at once before starting on a hearty sandwich.

**Author's Note:**

> My first Lego fanfic~  
> I wish AO3 kept the format right from my Word file...


End file.
